Singer-songwriter Alex the Astronaut is a storyteller, pure and simple. Whether it’s via poignant folk-pop anthems, a one-off comedy show or an honest conversation had while cradling a foster kitten, there’s something delightfully, generously layered and unfiltered about the 28-year-old artist’s oeuvre.
But following the release of last year’s album, How To Grow A Sunflower Underwater, that story was given new texture when Alex casually mentioned their recent autism diagnosis. Suddenly, journalists were asking loaded questions about the life, mind and childhood of the Sydneysider, painting them as a local figurehead of the neurodiversity movement. And as an artist who came out shortly before the marriage equality plebiscite, the feeling was familiar.
We spoke to Alex (and Kevin the foster kitten) over Zoom to discuss the complexity of neurodiversity, representation, and the importance of nuance in the face of stereotypes and misinformation.
You publicly came out as autistic in your first stand-up comedy set, is that right?
I guess I didn’t realise that’s what was happening. I’d been diagnosed, but I didn’t know it was something that I’d talk about in that way. But my friend Matt Okine had said that I should try stand-up. At the time I was recording music, so I was really busy until the day before. And then I thought, oh shit, I’ve got to plan what I’m going to say. And yeah, I thought it would be funny to make the comparison of people who react similarly uncomfortably when you tell them about your sexuality and gender, as when you tell them you’ve got autism. It’s been quite confronting actually, because it’s twofold. One part is like, “Wow, I didn’t realise there were all these people out there who have autism and haven’t been represented.” Then on the other hand it’s like, “Oh my gosh, this is my medical thing that seems private.” I guess I’m walking the line with it.
How did you find the media reception more broadly after sharing this? Often being someone who “represents” a group means that one’s struggles can get presented as a story of triumph. Did you experience that?
It’s strange to have people reframe a story that I’ve shared. I had one interview for my album where the interviewer asked: “What’s hard about being autistic?”. I was like, “Oh, I don’t know! I guess lots of things, but I can’t remember right now!” I thought it was so unusual and stuck in my head. He also said, “Is there any point in your childhood where you realised that you were different?” And I thought that was such a strange question, but it’s all that othering thing, right? You get put into these boxes that you don’t really want to be put in, but you also want to show people you’re okay with being yourself. Like, I’ve had this diagnosis, I’m happy with it, it’s helpful for me. And now I’m lucky enough to get these messages from autistic kids who feel inspired by me. That just brings a tear to your eye.
It’s complicated and I think there’s no way to distil it; everyone is trying to get their head around something that is so heavily stereotyped. But stories can help some people to de-stereotype. For some people, the triumph story is productive. For people who only think of Rain Man when they think of being autistic, I’m okay with them having the triumph story if it helps. But I don’t want the complexities of all of it to get brushed over. So I feel weird representing people.
That makes sense. I think that for young people, a simple triumphant message or message of equality is helpful. But, similar to being queer or trans, when you’re having to shout “I’m just like you!” over and over to grown adults who don’t want to listen, it can be tiring.
Yes, I went through that with the plebiscite. I was 20 when that happened. These adults were coming to me for information on marriage equality and I thought, “I’ve got so many answers for these people. I’m so smart”. And now I’ve got enough perspective to go, wait a second, you definitely should not be asking me. There are so many smart people who know so much and we don’t listen to them. We listen to the 20-year-old musician. With autism, people have access to more information through media like TikTok.
I hope that everyone’s listening to the people who really know their stuff, who don’t have biases and can build that story accurately. I feel weird about people listening to me about it. Because I can only give what I’ve learned through my diagnosis and the bits and pieces that I’ve managed to put together in the last couple years.
There is so much more diversity on social media these days and a movement towards strengths-based language and celebrating uniqueness. It also means there are a lot of voices who want to represent autistic people and we need to be mindful of those with lower support needs and more social power not capitalising on their privileges, not taking up all the space.
Exactly, I think that’s one of my biggest issues. When I was diagnosed, they gave me a big, long document with all the information on my traits and strengths. It’s a really complex document following a really complex assessment. So when people reduce my story to: “Alex is autistic and look at how well she’s doing!” it’s like, yeah sure, but you didn’t read that long document! When we say things like that, we’re saying you are the palatable version of having a disability.
It’s same as most big change movements; they pick a few people from the marginalised group closest to the most privileged group, and those people get to make a few steps and, eventually, hopefully, so do people that really need a whole bunch of help. But there are people having real issues finding employment because of the way they talk or stim, because they’re not as assimilated as me. I guess I have a cognitive dissonance with being painted as someone who is “autistic and thriving”, because sometimes we’re not thriving! It’s such a complicated conversation, but let’s keep going. We’ve got this!
Yes! How do you feel about whether those stories of triumph can feed into angry reactions, especially online, where people often say “you’re not autistic!”?
I’ve been reading this book called How To Talk To People About Climate Change and it’s about having tricky conversations with people, what happens emotionally and why we have these reactions. I thought it was really helpful; it’s changed how I look at those people. They just want a pattern and they like the pattern they have. When someone tells them “your pattern is wrong”, they don’t have the space or capacity to change it and they really want to tell you. That’s not excusing adults who go on the internet and abuse people. But for me, understanding it has made it so much simpler and that’s what I’ve tried to bring to the autism thing. People have this pattern, a stereotype in their head, and it’s really hard to change that.
I think the only way to do it is with compelling stories that show real complexity. I think the “you don’t actually have autism” stuff is more of a failure of education than of society. We weren’t taught anything about it and I’ve spent so much time educating people on behalf of the education system. It would be really helpful if we started to educate people earlier, so when they get to that point in adulthood where they decide to go on their Facebook page and click “comment”, they’ve got a little bit more information, you know? People are just trying to preserve their own reality, unfortunately for them. Hopefully they don’t harm people who can’t just block them. It’d be nice if people weren’t like that. It’d be much better.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity. Find Alex on Instagram at @alex.the.astronaut
